Dennis Cowan was a much loved Los Angeles bike messenger who caught
pneumonia and went in to septic shock. He passed away on April 7,
2018.
I'm so fucking mad at you.
You were always like a ridiculous older brother to me. We picked on
each other incessantly. When we worked together at the shop the
pranks never ended. You used to do stupid dances every time I tried
to leave a voicemail with a customer just so I'd crack up and make
an asshole out of myself. We never took anything seriously. It was
always like the entire world was on fire and we were just standing
there, drinking beer and laughing at it while it burned. Everything
was funny. Everything was a joke. We were a fucking nightmare but it
didn't matter because we had each other.
As we got older and settled down in relationships, we both got a
little nicer. You had your family, I started taking the dog show
circuit more seriously and working harder and traveling more. We
grew up. A little. But we'd still meet occasionally to be terrible
and drink too much and say terrible things and laugh at everything
and annoy the shit out of our spouses. And of course it never quit
on the internet with the back and forth trolling that I'm sure
either enchanted or utterly repulsed everybody who witnessed it.
Just yesterday I got the most ratchet breakfast at Whataburger and I
considered sharing about it online, but I knew you were in the
hospital and wouldn't be able to make fun of my bad decisions and
tell me I was about to get listeria, so I didn't share. I just cried
into the greasy wrapper and hoped beyond hope you'd be back to make
fun of me until we were both old enough to burn down the nursing
home.
You were such a jerk. You also were the one who forced your way into
my house when Cowboy died, even after I said I didn't want visitors.
You didn't care what I wanted, you just hugged me and cried. You
were my friend and we loved each other. I'm just so hurt and angry
that I will never hear your obnoxious voice again, telling me some
dumb story that probably wasn't true (then again, who knows? You did
after all shoot a man for beating his dog) and following it up with
your signature "Oh yeah!" when I told you that you were full of
shit.
I still want this to be one of your pranks. I know it isn't. There
is nothing I can do to bring you back to us, to your family. All I
can do is love you and miss you forever.
Goodbye, Dennis. I hope the weather is better where you are. - Anya
Vasilis
Dennis Cowan was one of the funniest, crazy stupid, reckless
motherfuckers I’ve ever met. He had so many stories about the
dumbest shit. The most squirrelly wtf behavior u couldn’t even think
to make up. His dead pan delivery followed by his devilish matter of
fact little “what?” guffaw was the kinda stuff that just facilitated
the kind of barber shop shit talk that made u feel like u
accomplished something really special even though nothing got done.
Actually prolly negative stuff got done cause essentially it was
procrastinating. Needless to say, I’m skilled in this as well and
our conversations always were seinfeldian but darker and meaner
cause we seen shit that breaks you. But as long as we rapped we were
laughing about cancers and guns and chicks and stuff that hurts
inside.
Everything got weird when we had kids. Cause like we both got these
weird feelings and motivations to like do shit that made stuff
better for...kids? People? We got nicer? We felt less cursed and
fatalism slowly became sarcasm and Love dominated our discussions.
Cause now we realized we were actually fucking blessed. Endlessly
congratulating each other and telling each other how proud we were
of the other and our love of fatherhood and doing it OUR own special
inappropriate fucked up fuck all those stick in their asses fake ass
parents (bare with me we were just being arrogant and feigning
gangsta shit in a pursuit that only allows for a lil bit of gangsta)
We were in lock step as far as the jokes and the inappropriateness
all while knowing what we both really were saying is that we take
this shit deadly serious and could never consider anything short of
utter devotion and love for these little magical creature we found
ourselves gifted with. Like we stole some shit and were shocked that
we actually pulled it off. Two devotees of not giving a fuck and
being like God? Fuck God. You’re. Kidding right? Finding out that
something Godly was in their care. I know Dennis felt blessed and
every moment of little Colton was fascinating in its unimaginable
evolution...each day revealing new and deeper Love previously
incomprehensible. Dennis is gone as suddenly as the dry punchline of
one of our stupid tales designed to catch u off guard, knock ur legs
out with abrupt uncontrolled “we’re all fucked laughter” or saying
“that’s fucked up man.” And like that he’s gone and all I can do is
stare into space knowing that this dry punk rock “holy shit u turned
50!!?” Bike messenger hooligan who found a girl and a son and love
is gone after catching a fucking cold that became pneumonia and then
sent him into septic shock. now like all of our self deprecating
stories of fucking up with women and drugs and common sense and
employment and disregard for authority and institutions and people
telling us what to do and how we should behave I’m left saying WHAT
THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? But this ain’t funny not at all and it never
will be and fuck life or your God or whatever supposedly makes the
cosmic clock tick cause there’s a good woman in Pittsburgh with a
now fatherless boy named Colton who would have had the best Dad
gushing over him and chopping it up, drinking beers and shit talking
him and they would have been that father son duo who beats up other
father son duos and drinks and burps and lights fires and gets
excited about guns knives explosions driving like assholes and
generally behaving badly while having the soul of a angel or some
shit. This is fucked and fuck u. - Don Purnell
I have been thinking about you Dennis Cowan the last time we spoke
you were leaving I can't forget what you told me it's been on my
mind could I f***** up and Life Goes On I just want you to remember
that you're in my thoughts and my prayers I will see you one day my
friend - Jimmy Garcia
I'm absolutely staggered to find out my friend Dennis Cowan has
passed. My heart goes out to his wife and son. This one is a
shocker, and I'm so grateful that he came to visit me at my studio
before he moved back east. He must have been on my mind, I showed
this old photo to several people this weekend. Goodbye, dear friend.
- Jennifer McLellan
Goodbye friend. I just woke up and Im still trying to process what
happened. You did not deserve this, and I consider myself a lucky
man to have known you. Thank you for being you, and being in my
life. RIP Dennis Cowan...... Todd Schoeni
My heart is so heavy with sadness over the passing of a member of
our mess fam, Dennis Cowan . Sending love and support to his partner
Cara and his son Colton. - Leah Hollinsworth
Forever in our hearts, you will never be forgotten. Ride in Paradise
Dennis Cowan. #Ulockmobforever - ulockmob
Thank you for the amazing outpouring of support for Cara and Colton.
Dennis fought hard, he was a fighter. He heard messages from friends
everywhere cheering him through his hardest fight yet, and he just
couldn’t win this one. It’s a mother’s worst nightmare. Please
consider supporting his family, Cara and Colton. This fund will help
support a young child and his mother with unplanned expenses, loss
of income, child care, and many other basic necessities. A gentle
heart who loves fiercely, we love you Cara and Dennis.
