By Bob Levey
Washington Post, November 30, 1995
The wondrous bike messengers of our fair city have done it again. Notonly do many of them ignore laws, run down old ladies, cut off cabs andcurse a blue streak. They refuse to take responsibility for their illegalactions.
Several times over the centuries, I have written negative columns aboutmessengers. Always, they react as if they don't know what I'm talking about.Why, we're misunderstood angels, the cyclists contend. Translation: Ifeveryone would just get out of our way, rather than vice versa, the worldwould be a swell place.
I recently described a violent confrontation between a bike messengerand a cabbie. It featured a near-fistfight and ended with the cabbie swinginga crowbar at the messenger.
For that reason and others, I was careful to say that the cabbie deservedplenty of blame. But the bike messenger cursed him, pounded on his cab,broke his mirror and challenged him to a fight. Most important, the messengerstarted it. Hardly the work of a virtuous citizen.
Citizen Dan New decided to take a little survey. He is a special policeofficer, assigned to the office building on the northeast corner of 16thand L streets NW. In his line of work, Dan gets to know bike messengersby the dozen. When my most recent messenger column ran, Dan decided toplay reporter.
Over a few days, he stopped each messenger he saw and asked what heor she thought of Bob Levey, his recent column about messengers and hisattitudes toward messengers in general. Messengers responded, in oftenvile detail. Here are some cleaned-up excerpts from the piece of paperDan laid in my hand the other day:
"He should be locked! You know what I mean!" Yes, I do, youpeaceful soul. But in case readers don't, he means I should have my brainsbashed with the heavy metal lock that every messenger carries. Don't thinkthat violent use of the lock is an aberration. My files are full of lettersfrom motorists whose doors have been dented and whose windows have beensmashed by lock-wielding messengers.
"I would like to talk to him or write him a letter. Not all ofus are like that." I'm still willing to believe that, my friend. Pleaseget in touch. I'll be glad to listen (and/or read). In the meantime, whydon't you weed out the bad apples in your profession? If an evil, hate-spewingcolumnist is allowed to continue writing, I'll speak out against him orher -- and I have. Isn't the same responsibility incumbent upon you?
"Let's see him get his fat $#% on a bike in D.C. and see if hegets mad." Pure childishness, pal. Of course I'd get mad. I get thatway behind the wheel and on foot all the time. But that doesn't give methe right to get violent, abusive and obscene.
"You've got to be like that to make it as a messenger." Self-servingjunk. Do you have to violate laws and common decency to make it as a butcher,baker or candlestick maker? Grow up.
"He sits at a desk all day. How would he know what it's like outthere?" Because I'm out and about in downtown Washington all the time,and I have seen messenger sins myself, by the ton. I also hear from readersevery day. They're "out there," too -- and their eyes and earsdon't lie to them, either.
"He should be tied up, put in the middle of Connecticut Avenue,and every biker in D.C. should run over him." Why bother to tie meup? You'll run me over even if I'm crossing on the WALK sign.
"Jerk! What does he know?" This much, cowboy: As long as Itype for a living, I'll crusade against messengers who are criminals. Onefine day, the D.C. Council will require you to have a license so we canidentify the bad eggs to the police. When that happens, and when some ofyou do time, listen for the applause. It'll be deafening.
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