by Mr Clean
Mercury Rising #7, August 1992
An interview with Chris MacKnight of Ford Graphics
Chris MacKnight: I heard a rumor that I was dead.
Mercury Rising: So, you're not really dead?
CM: No, no! I showed up at the Wall, and a friend of mine was all, "Oh,man, you're not dead! I played it off like I was a ghost, saying, "Youcan see me?". At first he was all, "Huh? what?", but luckilythere weren't more people I could do that to,' cause it got out quicklythat I was actually still living and breathing. Although for the firstcouple of days afterward, I kind of wished I were dead, I mean...
MR: It hurt a lot?
CM: Oh, man! My whole face, ’cause I like flew off my bike and wenthead first into a van, hit the ground, and rolled over, and a car ran overmy arm. My arm is still numb right here, my forearm. The first couple ofdays I could not eat; my teeth were numb; my face was swollen up; my nosewas broken. I was "Unnh!", whacked out on vicodins. I was takingthem hourly, not every few hours. Luckily my Mom had a bunch, she gaveme some. and so did my roommate.
It was hit and run. I got the police report back and there was a vaguedescription of the woman who hit me. So anyone out there a (silver subarusamurai, late model, with a shoulder length brown haired lady driving),kill her. Flatten her tires. Put sugar in her gas tank. Do something.
MR: I heard that you'd hit a bump, and flown off the bike into a car.
CM: No , those bumps are in the second lane or something, I was allthe way over to the right, by 333 Bush. Apparently she was pulling outof that garage by Triple Three, and just caught my back tire, and I wentflying off. Pretty scary. I guess I'm pretty lucky I lived. I came to inthe hospital, and thought, What the fuck happened?!
MR: "My packages!"
CM: I had one package, they're all, "Don't worry, it got there.Do you know who you are?" "Yeah, yeah." They asked me, who'sthe president? "Unfortunately, Bush, but not for much longer!"
Then the hospital called up my roommates, and they'd just gotten reallystoned, and they're all, "What? an accident? Is he OK?" Theycame to pick me up and were all tripping out. I had a big bandage aroundmy head. They said, "We need to get you a flute, man! You know, likethe guy in the bicentennial picture with the rag around his head.
I went back to 333 Bush and talked to some people. One of the guys wasa witness. He said I was like up and running around going, "I can'tbelieve I got hit! can't believe I got hit!" I don't remember anyof this. Then I put my hand to my head and saw the blood and started freakingout. A bunch of people had to hold me down while the paramedics got there.I was totally an asshole to the paramedics, and wouldn't let them do theirjob. So they had to pump me with something, and I was out. They put mein one of those big neck braces where they screw the things down on yourhead. I don't remember any of that. They cut the strap to my Zo bag toget me out of there. Eric fixed that, free, which is cool. They cut myChili Peppers shirt off. They gave me my shirts back, I had this purpleone that was covered with blood, it was all stiff the next day. You couldliterally stand it up in the corner, cause all the blood. I went by butit's such dark pavement I couldn't really tell where I'd bled.
MR: They wash it off. I've seen them after a couple of accidents. It'spart of the procedure. So the streets don't look as mean as they reallyare.
CM: Who is it, Phil? The guy that owns Micro? He came by right afterI was down, when they were holding me down, and he said he almost got sickto his stomach. He thought I was dead.
MR: Yeah, Nosmo said he rode by and saw some guy lying on the sidewalktwitching, and he rode on. Mishka said she was across the street and foundsome bike messenger in the bathroom throwing up cause of what she'd seen.I heard about it the next week, our guy Dennis said, "Hey, I heardsome guy who rode for a graphics company really ate it."
CM: The BIG "ate it"... Kind of unfortunate that I can't sueanyone. I could have paid my debts off, probably. But... it'll come backto that woman. She must've felt bad. She must've known she hit me. Causeshe hit me on her side, on the driver. She couldn't have missed it. AfterI got back to work they called me into the office. The big man upstairssaid, Well, after reviewing our insurance situation, we feel it would betoo costly to have you one the road." So, here I am working in AmmoniaHeaven. Things happen, man. I started going out with the receptionist atthe doctor's office, so things come out of it. I'm glad I'm alive, I'mstill working, and I'm still demented!
Interview by Mr. Clean P.S. Nice Scar, Chris!
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