by Professor Grifter
Mercury Rising #2, November 1991
...is basically the tale of a bunch of working stiff style bike messengerswho were either too uncoordinated to ride a skateboard or too broke tobuy one. The need for such an aggregation was doubtful as much as its usefulnesswas non-existent, but it did provide the opportunity for the creation ofsome of the most prolifically festooned sleeveless denims ever seen. (I'mtalkin' about your colors, you non-thesaurus reading chump!) Probably thebest of these and unquestionably the most painstakingly designed and executedbelonged to Jason, aka J-Bone. His unique insignia consisted of severalhundred safety pins formed in a circle around the word HANX, also madefrom safety pins. The visual effect was dazzling, even though the weightof the pins made it feel more like a flak jacket than riding attire. Aphoto of J-Bone in his colors was used for an Image magazine article. Afull-size print of it still hangs at his final gig in California (he nowhas his own company in Denver): Aspen Graphics at 200 Green.
One problem with colors which allegedly caused most companies to banthem under threat of termination was keeping them clean. Not of mere dirtand grime, mind you, but of long, hot days of sweat and even longer nightsof beer. Laundering colors was unthinkable unheard of sacrilege! However,it did occur with conjugally connected HANX; Bob 18" Bennett and CarlDung Boy Carpenito being two of the most affected. When the noble garmentsbecame too odoriferous for their non-messenger nostrils (or when the damnthings just plain stank to high heaven) Patty and Robyn would simply tossthem in with the rest of the week’s wash, completely disregarding the rareembroidered keepsake patches sewn thereupon and sometimes, depending onthe state of rancidity, my painted metal stickpins accompanying them.
This fortunately was the exception and not the rule, as it was customaryfor many a HANX member to have his colors signed by other members. Washingthem then would have made this practice not only pointless, but absolutelystupid!
Well that's one story of the HANX. Not bad for filler, if you thinkabout it! If anyone else has another, send it in! You supply the story,I'll supply the syntax (that’s a word you'll find in another book you'venever read!) Till then, I'm
-Professor Grifter,
-The Pedaling Pedagogue
| main | articles | laws | zines | report | 10-9 day |
If you have comments or suggestions, email me at messvilleto@yahoo.com