Bob Levey's Personal Prejudices Against Bike Messengers
from the Washington Post [ rumor has it they were rejectedby The National Enquirer as unsubstantiated fantasies]
July 20, 1987:
Overheard at the corner of 19th and M streets NW, one bicycle messengerto another:
"It's bad out here today, man. I almost got sideswiped twice onK Street by cars."
This from the kings of the sideswipe. Ask any pedestrian. If you canfind one who doesn't bail out of the way the second he sees a bike messengercoming.
September 25, 1987:
BARRING BICYCLE COURIERS FROM DOWNTOWN STREETS: I proposed this in mycolumn of Sept. 4. I described bike couriers as "dangerous menaces."I also said that the next ticket one of them gets will be the first.
It took about one instant for a U.S. Capitol Police officer to calland invite me to the corner of First Street and Independence Avenue SE."I nail a bunch of them there every day," he said.
Jerry A. McCoy of Northwest agrees that cyclists get tickets. His complaintis that recreational cyclists such as Jerry A. McCoy get them when couriers,who are far more dangerous, don't.
Jerry also points out that bike riding on sidewalks is prohibited inthe heart of downtown. A lot of police officers aren't aware of this, Jerrysays. They should be. But so should bicyclists.
Matthew Reingold, a board member of the Washington Metropolitan CouriersAssociation, notes that WMCA has urged the D.C. Council to regulate thecourier industry. WMCA advocates diligent enforcement of existing trafficlaws, training for couriers, identification and helmets. Matthew pointsout that the council is studying these and other recommendations, includinglicensing. He thinks this is more constructive than chasing couriers outof downtown forever.
I think couriers are such a pressing problem that we should bar themfirst and study proposals second. But, yes, I'd rather have some actionby the council than no action by anyone.
Lisa Gurney, director of the Washington Area Bicyclist Association,writes that "the average noncyclist can't tell the difference betweena commuter and a courier. All you have done is target a lot of anger atbicyclists in general."
I sincerely hope I haven't, Lisa, and I sincerely doubt it. You reallythink people can't tell couriers and commuters apart? Try this for a ruleof thumb: Couriers break laws. Commuters don't.
Last word goes to an anonymous courier who wrote: "Bicycle couriersare people, too, and not all of us are crazy."
Then the letter touched all the bases by adding:
"And the ones that are crazy have a right to be."
October 6, 1987:
Bike Messenger Watch: There was a woman in a car, in the right laneof 20th Street NW, waiting for the light at I Street to change . . . .When it did, she began to make a right turn. Suddenly, a bike messengertried to whip past her on the right. She turned into his path. He had tobrake very sharply to avoid a collision . . . . Of course, the messengerhad been the unsafe one of the pair. But who cursed out the lady at thetop of his lungs? And who took out his heavy lock and smashed the lady'scar right on its roof, leaving a two-inch-deep-crater? . . . . I say itagain (and I'll keep saying it as long as I hear stories like this): Getthese menaces out of downtown, and get them out now . . . .
September 22, 1988:
Huzzah! A chance to clear the air! It comes courtesy of a puzzled reader,Ewing Taylor of Rockville.
"I have been a regular reader of your column for several years,"Ewing writes, "and I have never seen your column mention bicyclistsexcept in the context of messengers . . . .
"This leads me to wonder about your personal opinion of this activity.Do you simply not care for it, or are you an antibicyclist?
" . . . . I am not accusing you of being in league with the darkforces, but your exclusively negative portrayal of bicyclists leads meto wonder just how you do view us. Any comment you care to make would beappreciated."
My comment, Ewing, comes in the form of a report from the Levey diningroom. Here is the scene most evenings:
Alexander Levey, age 2, sticks the last bite of his dinner in his mouth.Before he has finished chewing, he asks:
"We go for bike ride, Daddy? We go for bike ride, Mommy?"And often we do, with 6-year-old Emily Levey leading the way on her brand-newlime green fabulocycle.
Allie is still a bit young to do any pedaling. He occupies one of thoseplastic ride-behind-Mom baby seats. But he is no less enthusiastic.
So the long and the short of it is that we're biking believers, notdetractors. And like Ewing Taylor, we're dismayed by the way motoristsendanger us. We are not pieces of tumbleweed. We are not interlopers. Yetwe're treated that way constantly.
How to fight back?
By turning the other cheek, by continuing to obey the laws and by pointingout that scofflaw bike messengers threaten not just pedestrians, and notjust themselves, but recreational cyclists, too.
Why? Because many aggressive and hostile motorists don't bother to distinguishbetween a recreational cyclist and a bike messenger. Probably itwas a messenger who cut them off on a downtown street last week. But theydon't care if they take revenge against another messenger, or against afat father taking his 2-year-old for a spin after dinner.
So, Ewing, I'm one of you, and hope to remain that way. But there willbe lots more dead and injured bicyclists if we recreationals don't standup and identify the messengers as the threats they are.
February 14, 1989:
When posed a question regarding a wheelchair being driven down the serviceroad in the 1700 block of K Street -- the wrong way.
Q: What could the wheelchair operator have been charged with if he hadbeen arrested? "
A: The guy could not have been charged as a reckless driver. You needto be driving a motor vehicle for those laws to come into play, and Mr.K Street Knievel was operating strictly under his own power.
So could he have been charged as a pedestrian? Almost certainly not,because he wasn't one.
Well, what then? According to a D.C. police spokesman, an arrestingofficer would probably have trotted out a catch-all like disorderly conduct."That's what we use on the bike messengers," the spokesman said.
We will pause 10 seconds for hearty laughter over that one. Halley'scomet will be back before significant numbers of bike messengers are bustedfor disorderly conduct (or anything else). Still, that's the best answerI can supply.
Hmmmmm.
April 8, 1991:
Throughout downtown, they zip and dart
They smash grandmas to rubble
But bring bike couriers under law?
I guess it's too much trouble
April 17, 1991:
Seen those fliers under windshield wipers around town? They're aimedat our wondrously law-abiding bike messengers. They read:
"Promote safe bicycling. Get the couriers off our streets and oursidewalks. GET A FAX MACHINE!"
October 16, 1991:
Levey's Bests and Worsts . . . .
Worst: Bike messengers who take stupid chances and wonder whythey pay the price. Did you see the accident in the 700 block of 13th StreetNW on Monday afternoon of last week? As described to me by eyewitnesses,a car had double-parked in the middle of the block so a passenger couldget out. There were at most two feet between parked car and double-parkedcar. But a bike messenger figured that was enough. What he didn't reckonwith was what would happen to him when the passenger in the double-parkedcar opened her door just before he came swooshing through. The messengersuffered two broken arms and a badly fractured cheek, all because he wastrying to save three seconds -- and look cool in the process.
February 5, 1992:
Candy Tordonato, of Fairfax Station, has "turned in" a bumpersticker that she finds repulsive. Bike messengers are sporting it all overtown. It reads:
SO MANY PEDESTRIANS, SO LITTLE TIME
The sticker would be funny if it weren't so accurate. As Candy notes,"I can't believe what those horrible people do to decent, innocentpedestrians." They have a lot of nerve snickering about the damagethey regularly inflict.
How about fighting fire with fire? How about another sticker, predictinghow long bike messengers might be working at their chosen profession? Thesecond sticker might read:
SO MANY FAX MACHINES, SO LITTLE TIME
March 3, 1992:
BIKE MESSENGERS: They've been writing to me in droves following my latestlove letter about their behavior, but I'm not persuaded. The typical messengerargues that he's just trying to make a living. So am I, guys. But I don'tignore laws, run over pedestrians and curse at motorists to do it.
Much more compelling are the arguments of Tom Longo, of Falls Church.He describes himself as "a rotund 49" and a "scathing critic"of bike messengers. "Boob is too mild a term for them," Tom asserts.
But he's worried that Levey, in his purpleness, has also tarnished recreationalbicyclists, Tom among them. "Esteemed columnist Levey anti-cyclist?"Tom bleats. "Say it isn't so, Bob!"
It isn't so, Tom.
I am not quite rotund and not quite 49, although I'm creeping up onboth. Yet, in defiance of all laws of physics, I too hop aboard a bikefor purely aerobic purposes whenever I can. I'm a big bike believer, ifyou want it alliteratively. I'm sorry for any confusion, if you don't.
March 10, 1992:
As always, you readers were equal to the challenge. I asked you to thinkup Unlikelyisms -- marriages between someone or something well-known anda product, business or concept that couldn't fit that individual no matterwhat. Here are the best submissions:
...Finally, a couple that are close to home.
Bob Levey's Bicycle Messenger Service (Jenny Reid again).
Washington Post Front Door Delivery Service (Roy H. Millenson, of Bethesda).
March 20, 1992:
Now that we have plugged that huge hole in the linguistic dike, I figureI can disappear on vacation.
I also figure I will.
Take good care, eat three squares, remember your mother's birthday andmake nasty faces at all bike messengers and red-light runners. I'll beback in this space on March 30.
June 30, 1992:
A reader reports seeing a bike messenger on a downtown street the otherday. The bikist had rigged up a 12-volt car battery to the back of hisbike. A pair of stereo speakers was attached to the battery. Huge wavesof heavy metal music followed the messenger wherever he went.
Clever, Mr. Messenger -- but also irritating. Huge waves of sound justmight disrupt others. Or are you the only person on Earth?
For more of Levey's rants see the following:
"Bike Messengers StillJust Don't Get It"- Washington Post,November 30, 1995
"Bike Messengers up toTheir Old Tricks" - Washington Post, November 15, 1995
"Another Nasty, Wrong BikeMessenger" - Washington Post, May 11,1995
"The Squirrel that GotBiked to Death" - Washington Post, November 21, 1991
"Hope Amid the Spokes andWheels" - Washington Post, February 17, 1989
"His Fault, But She RhymesWith Witch" - Washington Post, December 27, 1988
"Bike Messenger Progress(!)"- Washington Post, August 5, 1988
"Bike Messenger Watch,Yes More" - Washington Post, December 15, 1987
"Bike Messenger Watch MoreHorrors" - Washington Post, October 27, 1987
"Do the Messengers OwnTheir Bikes?" - Washington Post, September 4, 1987
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